QÜNE: The Report

Destiny's Child

For those of you hoping wondering if Beyonce will succumb to the sophomore jinx, you’re in for a surprise. We usually don’t give kudos for albums that haven't dropped, yet we can’t help but be excited about Beyonce’s second offering. Her debut song, Déjà vu, is an ode to the railing swagger of entertainers past. Ok, we’ll be honest, we hate comparing today’s R&B Max Hedrooms to the studied musicians of yesteryear. But, every now and then an entertainer steps up that deserves every bit of fanfare and comparisons that precedes them.

To be sure, Beyonce doesn’t have the best voice and she’s far from being a musical savant (thank God). But damn if she’s not the most charismatic artist to grace our ears and the Pop charts since Michael Jackson. She has the saucy soul of Tina Marie, the stage presence of Madonna, and the raw sex appeal of Apollonia (we saw the beach photos and we still think that even without makeup, Ms. Knowles bleeds the kind of femme magic that would make most men lie about their job title). Witness her energy following Jay-Z’s second lyrical interlude. It’s Proud Mary worthy.

Mark our words, Déjà vu, will take the short path to the top of the charts. The song preaches with a thump that straddles the line between street passion and pop soul (think Rick James sans the coke). And if her new album, entitled B'Day, includes equally engaging cuts, then-- like her last album-- it should have over-weight teens, Aunts, and Oprah shaking their rotund buns for months. While we don’t look forward to seeing our moms doing the bootylicious bounce for another two years, we do look forward to enjoying our generation’s Tina Turner.

Hate it or love it- Beyonce's destiny has never been clearer.

For the Sake of Perms & Finger Waves: Revisiting Black Environmentalism

If you’ve been paying any attention to the news, you’ve probably heard a bit about Al Gore’s movie entitled An Inconvenient Truth.  The movie has received numerous accolades for its honest analysis of the emerging environmental crisis and Al Gore has managed to remake himself as both a viable presidential candidate and a truly environmentally friendly (read: tolerable) alternative to former Green party nominee Ralph Nader. We initially wondered whether we’d be able to sit through the lecture style delivery without having painful flashbacks to HBCU Founder’s Day ceremonies, but we found ourselves quickly engrossed in Gore’s grim prognostications.  We won’t give away all of the juicy facts, but the message is pretty simple- change our consumptions habits now, or face a hot, humid, and unbearably greasy future, replete with famine, floods, and abundant pestilence.

The pertinence of Gore’s message shouldn’t be surprising. Plenty of black intellectuals pointed out the ills of environmental racism in the 90s (slightly different premise, similar consequences). And surely every black person understands the kind of damage increased heat and humidity can wage on an 80 dollar perm or a 10 dollar finger wave.  Still, black folk have yet to establish a clear voice in support of environmental causes.  We’re not sure if it’s because too many of us are too poor to be concerned with recycling or too gangsta’ to drive a Prius.  However, it’s clear that, collectively, we have managed to disavow our role in destroying the world’s ecosystem and overlook the potential impact even small changes to our environment could have on our community.

To be fair, there is a smattering of eco-friendly African Americans in our midst. Unfortunately, most are so anti-establishment that their environmental politics get lost amid their unlikely conspiracy theories, cheap dashiki’s, and tired tang of patchouli incense.  Meanwhile, those that consistently command the largest black audiences do little to encourage environmental awareness. Hip hop theologians and ministers of prosperity, for instance, promote super-sized consumption- big houses, big cars, and even bigger butts.  None of which are eco-friendly.

Strangely, many African Americans justify exorbitant consumption as an exercise in retribution. That is, black folk have earned the right to consume and pollute as we please  (never mind  the environmental consequences) because of our country's legacy of disenfranchisement.  There’s something severely short-sited and troubling about this perspective.  And while we’re probably guilty of over-simplifying the matter (in an effort to be concise), it’s problematic that our leadership hasn’t recognized that even minute changes to our environment could have severe repercussions for poor and working class African Americans (see Katrina for more evidence).

Beyond making it impossible for our perms, finger waves, and s-curls to hold, increases in the aggregate temperature of the earth will surely increase the likelihood of natural disasters, decrease the amount of inhabitable land, and increase the cost of fossil fuels (and you think it’s hard to find a house now?). This inconvenience will, undoubtedly, have severely injurious effects on the economic and social infrastructures of black communities and the life-chances of future generations of African Americans.

Bottom line: It’s time we get serious about protecting our environment. 

Take a friend to see An Inconvenient Truth.

Cosby's Second Serving

To the chagrin of some notable black intellectuals, it seems that our good buddy Bill Cosby is at it again. Entitled, the ‘Call Out Tour’, Cosby is visiting over 20 cities with the hope of calling attention to critical issues in the black community.  Picking up where he left off two years ago at Constitution Hall, the comedian turned philanthropist has continued to present his critique of black America to willing and unwilling audiences.

At Spelman College's commencement, Mr. Cosby admonished black men who’d “rather sell drugs than flip burgers”. Weeks later in D.C, according to the Washington Post, Cosby assailed black churchgoers “who preach religion but fail to confront problems that plague their communities”. According to similar reports of the same event,  Cosby responded sternly to a man who criticized his remarks as being too “watered down”. The wheel-chair bound activist mentioned Professor Michael Eric Dyson’s scathing critique of the “Cosby Perspective”. Leaving the stage to address the man directly, Cosby responded that he is “not afraid of any Mr. Dyson”.

Sound like fighting words?  It seems the second serving of  Cosby's world view may stir up even more consternation from the Dyson discipleship than the first. Op-Eds are starting to roll in that criticize 'Cosby-ites' for refusing to engage in serious discussion with Dyson or other like-minded leaders. Bloggers, (self-proclaimed) public intellectuals, and lotion-lacking militants have also weighed-in offering a range of views in support and against Cosby’s stance. Meanwhile, brief conversations with attendees and organizers of the Spelman commencement and the D.C. speak out, suggest that there are plenty of African Americans that see Cosby’s latest crusade as a welcome and necessary response to certain community indiscretions.

With the emergence of a new brand of black policy-makers, writers, professors, and pundits, Cosby’s ‘Call-Out Tour’ may very well mark the beginning of a more substantive dialogue about our community that pushes away from the tired 'amen choir' framework of old. After all, a public dialogue about the precarious circumstances of black Americans, shouldn’t always resemble a Baptist Revival.

We’ll keep you posted. Read more here. 

Hustler's Flu

Rick Ross’s Everyday I’m Hustlin is in heavy rotation on nearly every local radio station. Challenging normative employment paths, Ross’s use of the term hustlin’ denotes his preference for engaging in illegal activity to realize financial success. Ross provides no real explanation for his choices; rather he reiterates ad nauseam that his said path to success pays handsomely. Rappers such as Jay-Z offer a bit more explanation in their verse. To him and others, less than ideal childhood circumstances, give them reason to shirk the law to achieve financial success. “Welcome to hell, where you are welcome to sell”, to use Jay-Z’s exact terminology. That is, inequality justifies illegal action. Hustle and get paid, never mind the moral and/or political sacrifices it may take to become rich.

While I didn’t grow up dirt poor (or filthy rich), I can understand wanting things that you couldn’t afford during your formative years. After accepting my first job as a college graduate I ran out and bought a portable CD player- before I furnished my studio apartment. Beyond being a bad investment, it looked absolutely awful clipped to my belt. And I’ve made a number of questionable purchases since then, but I've never risked going to jail to do so. Consequently,  it’s puzzling how many promising black kids have embraced the “Get rich or Die Tryin’” mantra.

Don’t get me wrong, building wealth should be a priority of any black American that doesn’t plan to spend the rest of their lives in a East African bush community (believe it or not, there are some with such plans). And pursuing legal long-term employment is a good thing in of itself.  But, responding to the question, “What do you plan to do after you graduate from college?” with the blunt response- “get paid” or “hustle that dollar” insinuates that the details of one’s planned journey to wealth are unimportant.

Maybe I shouldn’t be critical of our community’s newfound interest in making money by any means necessary. However, something tells me that the emergence of a generation of “hustlers” may represent our collective accomodation of a troubling ideology that insinuates that America’s historical and present wrong-doings (against black folk) justify the pursuit of wealth without attention to integrity.

Read about what it really takes to “get paid” (and maintain your integrity) in the article entitled, The Death of Horatio Alger, by economist and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman. And read Giving Americans a Raise, by Nation editor Katrina Vanden Huevel for an even more up to date analysis of the issue.

Seeking Jesus in Drywall

Recently in Mobile, Alabama, a neighborhood of black folk spotted a leprechaun in a tree. That’s right, recently in Mobile, Alabama, a neighborhood of black folk spotted a leprechaun in a tree (see police sketch below). Responding to the sighting, some neighbors pondered if it was crackhead. While another resident dressed in green fatigues prepared to face the leprechaun with what he deemed a special ‘flute’ that wards off danger. Meanwhile, others simply wondered aloud, “Where da gold?”

Sound too far out? Think again. This story first aired on a legitimate, albeit clearly news-starved NBC-affiliate station, WPMI and has quickly reached ‘leprechaun-mania’ status on blogs and video sites on the web. A police sketch of the urban leprechaun in question has even sold for $1100 on eBay.

Interestingly, it reminded us at The Report of a story that aired a few weeks ago. In similarly mind-boggling fashion, black congregants at the Triumph Learning and Worship Center for Life in Saraland, Alabama spotted Jesus in the drywall of their Katrina-ravaged church. Since then, an array of people from the downtrodden to the privileged have flocked to the church to lay hands on the ‘holy buckle' in the drywall.

And just this evening, I saw Gary Coleman riding a Yeti from the window of my home library. Well, not really. Beyond being totally mortified by both of these stories being in the public domain, I’m troubled by both circumstances for a number of reasons. For starters, both instances are proof positive that Alabama needs a much better public education system. But that’s too easy.  More troubling is the less obvious trend of black group-think when it comes to issues of significance (religion) or insignificance (the ghetto leprechaun). By group-think, I’m referring to our consistent support of quesionable ideologies regardless of their utility or truth. If you’ve ever been ridiculed for cooking like a white person (i.e. cooking with too little salt, butter, sugar, or any ingredient that may hasten the onset of heart disease)- then you know what I mean. 

Granted, other communities have similar group-think ideologies. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is a great movie that presents the sometimes bizarre memes that drive cultural creativity. Difference being, Greeks don’t have to worry about 10 additional movies being produced that further the notion that they all use Windex to heal minor skin abrasions (you need to see the movie). My Big Fat Greek Wedding was hilarious and fresh, because most of us had little knowledge of the cultural anomalies that add flavor to Greek family life.  Unfortunately, for black folk, the number of movies, news segments, books, and music that substantiates our collective quirkiness seem to legitimize even our most absurd perspectives. My Big Fat Black Wedding wouldn’t be fresh or have the same success at the box office, because the movie has already been done- at least 15 times. This kind of replication seems to have led many of us to believe that even the most outlandish of claims and proclivities have merit.

Consider as additional support the strangely supported assertion that the federal government blew holes in levees to ensure that black residents were effectively removed from coveted New Orleans properties. The assertion simply diverts attention from the necessary work of ensuring that black residents receive appropriate compensation for their losses in the disaster. The mere existence of such claims, however, stems from our continued allowance of discussions of federal conspiracies and the puzzling belief that the oppressed circumstance of African  Americans makes it impossible for us ever to be flat wrong.

Finding a leprechaun… in a tree… in the ghetto… is equally as unlikely as Jesus appearing in drywall. It is highly unlikely that God has nothing better to do than play the equivalent of “Where’s Waldo” with the struggling Katrina victims (the resiliency of many black residents of New Orleans should be evidence enough of God’s care). Unfortunately, stepping out of line to call an absurdity an absurdity seems to be just as unlikely in our community. Perhaps, this is the message to be gained from the buckle in the drywall.

See a video of Jesus in drywall here and see the original story on the urban leprechaun here. For even more kicks or cries, check out the leprechaun music video here.   

At Least Cornrows Are Free

I was planning to write a quick reflection on the state of hip hop lyrics, but in the midst of my research I came across a website called Gold Teeth America. Googling has become a favorite past time of millions, simply because of the strange and often troubling sites that emerge from mundane queries. As it pertains to the collective state of Black America- Googling can be a shockingly brutal way of reminding us how much work is lef to be completed.

Which brings us to the topic of Goldteethamerica.com.  The site is billed as an online store where denture aficionados can purchase customized gold teeth showcasing diamonds, rubies names, and fangs. Replete with gold text and scrolling titles over a black background the site overwhelms your chintzy sensibilities like a ghetto hair show- sans the smell of burnt hair. Perhaps even more jolting however is the column of rotating customer pictures on the site’s front page. Every two seconds a new head shot is offered as example of another satisfied customer. Flashing their personalized “ice grillz”, picture after picture of folk with personalized gold dentures pop up, rotating in and out of your conscious until a pattern becomes clear. [deep breath] They’re- all black.

I could respond to goldteethamerica.com with praise. You know the mantra, “personalized gold dentures [and the like] are just another example of the collective creativity of black folk- wouldn’t the world be boring without us?” If you’re a liberal (as I am) you’ve used this kind of rationalization before. I’d truly like to believe that black folk have been bestowed certain gifts that allow us to express ourselves with more creativity and verve than others. Problem is I’ve fumbled through too many electric slides to believe that I have an untapped creative gene that lies dormant waiting to be unleashed at the next wedding celebration.  Yes, I’m the annoying black guy that you bump into during this cha-cha slide. And for this reason alone, I tend not to believe in this kind of mythology. While it is therapeutic to believe that African Americans have a monopoly on creativity and self-expression, such assertions only deny the obvious problems associated with the too often alienating choices of black young adults.

"Ice Grillz" and the emergence of the "gold front" industry (if I may call it such) reflect the expanding breach between main stream society and minority youth. To be sure, gold fangs do not attract fiscal, and/or educational opportunities. Sure you can take them out before an interview. But it is a safe bet that if you were wearing them at any point prior, you’re not going to be in the interview queue in the first place.

Thus, wasting thousands of dollars on an item that is going to make it even more difficult to access any services that rely on the subjective opinions of middle class Americans (white or black) makes little sense [unless you’re so rich that their opinions don’t matter- a luxury most Black Americans don’t enjoy]. "Gold grillz" are a bad investment (at least cornrows are free) and another example of our increasingly senseless celebration of alienating behavior.  Now central to hip hop culture, this sensibility is narrowing the life chances of urban youth and excerbating the institutional obstacles many already face.

So go ahead, call the emergence of "gold front" fashion an ode to our Egyptian ancestors. Call it resistance to the middle class hegemony. Call it a nihilistic epoch emerging from the sins of slavery. Call it whatever you want. But make sure that you also call it a likely precursor to unemployment and a sorrowing example of the widening gulf between black young adults and the American dream- however you may define it.

Make sure you visit goldteethamerica.com before your son or daughter does.

 

Embracing Immigrants

Immigration has been the topic of choice over the last handful weeks. Spurring numerous protests and astoundingly simple debates, it seems that immigration may become America’s latest wedge issue. At issue- how the government should deal with the scores of undocumented immigrants who work for paltry wages at the benefit of homeowners, corporations, and small business owners.

Even more interesting are the varied opinions of black folk on the matter. Spend time in any barber shop, church, or cramped plastic covered living room couch and you’re sure to find yourself confronted by the viewpoint that immigration is the new obstacle impeding the progress of the black community. Common wisdom presents as follows:

Undocumented immigrants are taking the low-skilled jobs that normally go to African Americans, thus greatly diminishing the earning potential of many working class blacks, blah, blah, blah… 

To be sure, there is plenty of empirical evidence that shows that the decades long influx of low skilled laborers does negatively impact the wages of America’s native-born workers. In fact, the latest report by Harvard researchers, George Borjas and Leonard Katz shows that Mexican immigration diminishes the earning of native born high school drop outs by 8 percent. Small beans considering the myriad of other factors that impact black employment (such as multi-syllabic first names).  Nevertheless, the common assertion that blacks are impacted negatively by the influx of undocumented does indeed have some merit. 

However, the Bush administration’s “guest worker” proposal should be viewed as the larger threat to black progress. Situated as a compromise that would allow currently employed undocumented immigrants the opportunity to work legally, the compromise has been openly supported by business leaders. And rightfully so, considering that the measure would allow businesses the opportunity to continue to employ recently immigrated manual laborers at little cost without any worry of breaking the law. Moreover, (and here’s where things should begin to sound familiar) the law would give currently employed undocumented immigrants the right to work for low wages, but would strip them of the ability to become full citizens. That is, the 8- 20 million illegal immigrants (depends on who you ask) who toil daily on America’s farms, suburban yards, and take care of your bourgeoisie a@@ kids will not be allowed to vote - thus, creating a permanent underclass of temporary non citizen-workers. If you’re not humming Go down Moses yet, you’re missing the point. The guest worker program would allow another minority group to replay our post-emancipation past. Black support and/or silence in regard to this proposal would strip us of any moral high ground in the continuing struggle for equal rights.

Undocumented, brown, white, and black (big up to Haiti) immigrants stream into this country daily looking for work because they lack opportunities in their home countries. This is due in part to tremendous disparities in employment prospects and income across national economies. Today’s global economy benefits those with the ability to participate in information-based markets (your cousin who surfs the internet all day doesn’t count). Deregulation and free trade has expanded the number of democratic countries and the freedoms of their citizens. But make no mistake, the rise of neoliberlism and the dominance of multinational corporations has not raised the living standards of low level workers in most countries. In fact, its done the opposite- increasing the disparity between rich and poor classes. As a result, black, brown, and white low skilled workers across the world have been forced to find work by any means necessary- even if it means risking life and limb to exist in the shadows of the American labor market.

Granted, this is a very simplified explanation of a very complex global circumstance. There are a number of additional factors that have led us to today’s immigration employment dillemma and black Americans' unemployment dillemmas. However, for African Americans, even the simplified version should serve as a clarion call to reframe the next decade of civil rights work. The position of laborers across the world should move us to more overtly connect our ongoing advocacy for economic justice with the struggles of laborers across the world. Moving away from the seductive and divisive rhetoric of the “20 button black clergy clique”, hip hop drunk academics, and neoconservative ideologues, we should seek to develop even more coalitions with civil rights organizations in economically deprived countries. We must assume that the dilemmas of undocumented immigrants represent the new civil rights landscape. Any temporary guest worker program would diminish the collective voice of American laborers, giving corporate leaders even more political influence (be patient, most immigrants eventually come to embrace the pro-labor politics of unions, the NAACP, La Raza, and other justice oriented watch groups). The tenor of this proposal should move black leaders to think beyond the too often narrowly defined African American body politic and strategically engage discourse and policy concerning multi-ethnic economic interests at home and abroad.

We think Barack Obama has the right idea.  Read his book or visit his website to find out why.  Read more about African American perspectives on immigration here, courtesy of the New York Times.

Seeing Beyond McKinney's Forest

We appreciate the work that many Black Congresswomen and men have completed on behalf of the African American community and the country. The Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) has, for years, spoken truth to power in a manner that is necessary, despite the ever-expanding criticism from certain members of the “impatient” (and often conservative) class of African Americans.

 Cynthia McKinney has been a valiant CBC advocate, co-sponsoring a number of important policies including H.R. 2178, The Student Bill of Rights, and H.R. 3000, better known as the Universal Health Services Act. Unfortunately, her latest stand taken against the Capital Hill Police has left us wondering if her 13 years of service have impacted her ability to see the forest for the trees.

 According to published reports,  upon entering her Capital Hill office, McKinney was stopped by Capital Hill Police because she was not wearing her congressional lanyard. She then exchanged words with a guard before striking him after he physically cautioned her not move forward. The incident seems trivial considering the rising sea of pressing international and domestic issues currently in play.  Yet, it has vaulted to the top of the headlines, engulfed by the usual political dichotomies (and curious discussions about McKinney's new hairdo- see pic above)

 We’re ok with Rep McKinney defending her position, and take no issue with her finding fault with the officer that attempted to subdue her. However, her use of the phrase “racial profiling” to describe the incident has elevated the impasse to an unfitting level of social and political relevancy. So much so, that many blood-starved republicans have seized the opportunity to use her statements to deflect attention away from their Capitol Hill Poseidon Adventure. To be sure, racial profiling is real. Unless you’re afflicted with Clarence Thomas disease, if you’re “of color”, we’re sure that you’ve had a white person mistake you for a Wal-Mart clerk at some point in your life.

 But McKinney’s use of the phrase has allowed conservative pundits and politicians to shift attention from larger political and social issues relevant to minority and majority Americans (see Delay’s comments for more evidence). While we don’t believe that there’s such a thing as “using the race card”--  racism is too real to admonish minorities that are courageous enough to name racism when they see it-- we do think that some battles (even those involving race) should be left to expire in preparation for more pressing and exhaustive conflicts to come. To be more specific, McKinney and other members of the CBC have much more pressing matters to be concerned with, and thus should move quickly to shift attention from the Georgia Rep and the Capitol Hill Police.  Of course, this would require that McKinney issue a show of humility and deference to needs of her constituents that most representatives are unwilling to offer. Her issues with the Capital Hill Police are, likely, of little relevance to the citizens she represents.

 Despite her recent mistake, we think she’s up to the task. Afterall, the trees are but one part of the forest.

 Read more here. And donate to the CBC here.

Buying Into Blackface

Blackface is taboo, as it was originally performed. Whites wearing ink-colored makeup, exaggerated lips and bug eyes is a thing of the past with the exception of a few pop ups i.e. Ted Danson (1993), and white frat boys (2002, 2003). In 1950, the NAACP mounted a campaign to put an end to blackface performances because they were “demeaning portrayals of African Americans.” Apparently, these performances were seen as fortifying racist images, attitudes and perceptions worldwide only when done by whites. In the 1920’s and 1930’s when Blackface was performed by black artists it was billed as “authentic”, “the real thing”. Coincidently, today when black entertainers appear as “lazy, ignorant, sexually-charged, baphoons” they too are billed as “real”.

The folk at Qune could run down the list of “has been” entertainers whose vanity has allowed them to forego any sense of pride or social responsibility. However the last two months in entertainment has given us examples so very unfortunately perfect we don’t have to dig into our past. Based on the belief that “demeaning representation is better than none at all” Tyler Perry dressed up as the large, grotesque, manly-featured, sexually-charged, grandmother named Madea and remained and scored the top spot at the box office. Yes, and just in case you were confused, Martin Lawrence also dressed up as a large, grotesque, manly-featured, sexually-charged grandmother who fights crime in the successful Big Momma’s House 2. Humorous coincidence? We think not- because in the1920s it was popular for white men to dress as “mammy’s” until blacks were hired to play the role. Now we not only continue to keep these images alive, but seem to believe that they are worthy of pride.

Read more about the legacy of blackface here [courtesy of NPR].

Taking a T.O. Time Out

We were ok with the controversy surrounding Terrell Owens at the beginning of last season. In fact, we weren't shocked by his hold out, the unkind words directed towards Donovan McNabb, or the fact that he completed an entire conditioning workout, topless, in front of a his suburban majority folk neighbors in Voorhees, New Jersey.  T.O. is an athelete, so we don't expect him to be an expert on the intersection of race, class, and gender.  But we do expect to see some evidence of intellectual and social growth from today's atheletes.  Which is why T.O.’s latest antics have secured him a place at the top of our pisstivity list. 

If you dare, venture over to his website- www.terrellowens.com. There, you’ll have the pleasure of being greeted by a rap song produced and performed by T.O himself. As if it wasn’t tacky enough that he decided to wear an all white suit to his Cowboys press conference, he now deems it necessary to produce a song pooh-poohing his former QB, the Eagles organization, and, indirectly, Philadelphia fans.

For the life of us, we can’t figure out why T.O. would choose to thumb his nose at his former teammates and coaches by creating a mockingly simple rap song. We’ve all been angry at a former employer for throwing up firewalls that don’t allow us to surf nefarious websites at work, or sending us to the conference in Hawaii with the office snitch. But it would never occur to us to create a rap song to exact our revenge. Not only do we understand and openly embrace our artistic limits, but we’re sure that any vengeful musical creation shared publicly would destroy our ability to be taken seriously in any professional setting- forever.

Before hearing his rap diatribe, we were optimistic that T.O.’s troubles in Philadelphia were more a function of his pride and social naiveté, than any kind of “keeping it real” ego trip that so many sports icons have embraced as of late. As such, we were sure that- this time around - he would learn from his previous media mistakes, recognizing how important it is to reflect before offering an opinion (or wearing a shirt with his momma’s face on it at a press conference). 

Unfortunately, his rap diss shows that he's cold hearted, calculating, and as linguistically challenged as today's endless stream of artistic incapables that produce hallow hip hop songs with simplistic beats and elementary lyrics. That's three strikes if you're counting.  Consequently, he’s now joined the ranks of the 10 or so other athletes that will be remembered for their off the field hip hop driven absurdity than their sports accomplishments (see the Miami Hurricanes’ 7^th Floor Crew and Cedric Ceballos for more evidence).

Surely, it didn’t take long for T.O. to produce his Laffy-Taffy like pro-Cowboys rap, but he had over three months to consider whether or not he should “keep it real” or let his actions speak for themselves through the remainder of his career.

Unfortunately, he chose the rap and we’ve chosen to never give him the benefit of the doubt again. Welcome to Qüne T.O..

Listen here.