The Other Kind of Party People

At The Report, we take our parties seriously. While we’ve never embraced the idea of “getting our eagle on”, we don’t mind “dropping it” when placed in an appropriate festive atmosphere. For us, parties are a legitmate form of escapism and a legitimate means of lowering our risk of hypertension (although not eating so many Jamaican beef patties would probably help as well). Give us Pomegranate Martinis, a big dance floor, and protection from (too often) obstinate Nigerian men, and we’re happy.

 However, we have little patience for long lines, outlandish cover charges, and parties hosted by brutish ball players. We’re too old (barely) to waste 4 hours of our life partying in tight spaces with folk trying to resurrect their dorm room identities.

 Which is why we don’t understand why so many of our acquaintances are suddenly so giddy about NBA All Star Weekend. Granted, if you could afford tickets to the events, watching the NBA elite compete is great way to indulge your craving for sports. But if you had to take a Southwest “red eye” to Houston, we can assume that you didn’t come within 5 miles of the Toyota Center or have any intention of paying the $2, 000+ for tickets to the game.

So why are so many of our people rushing to All Star Weekend? We’re afraid to ask. Yet, we have a funny feeling that some of the people who flocked to Texas to just  “hang out” are same the folk that managed to destroy the Greek Picnic, Freaknic, and The Essence Music Festival; and have the nerve to show up at the Congressional Black Caucus Weekend every year as unregistered voters*. By turning civilized festivals into the commemorative equivalent of a Pimps Up, Hoes Down video, these ‘party people’ have the capability to quickly spoil any upbeat black social gathering.

Our advice- enjoy All Star Weekend while you can- before David Stern gets hip and moves the festivities to Kazakhstan.

 Read more here.

*We know who you are and so do you.