Lately,
there’s been a great amount of discussion concerning the NBA’s new
dress code. The mandate, handed 
down by David Stern, the league’s
commissioner, restricts players from donning hip haute couture such as
“chains, pendants, medallions, and headgear (WTF-I never knew headgear
was cool)”. Most of the debate over the code has elicited familiar
narratives in favor and against Stern’s issuance. ‘Hip Hop heads’ and
those that would like to believe that they’re still young enough to
understand the complex world of urban art, fashion, and angst (read-
men with graying cornrows) argue that the mandate is racist. While
other, more conservative folk (read- black men with one too many pairs
of khakis) make the point that everyone, including the NBA elite,
should have to conform to the fashion standards of the majority
business community.
Well, here at The Report, we find both sides of the argument quite pedestrian. In fact, we're much more concerned by David Stern’s apparent failing memory. For the life of us, we cannot understand why he would go out of his way to encourage NBA players to pull their 30 button, pastel draft suits out of retirement? Has he compartmentalized the image of Jalen Rose, in his fire red pin stripe suit in the 1994 draft? Did he forget about the 1996 draft, when Dallas selected, with the 9th pick, an over-sized cream suit by the name of Samaki Walker? Or maybe he has chosen to deny that Maurice Taylor ever wore a teal, “Creflo Dollaresque” double-breasted suit to the 1997 draft.
We’re appalled that David Stern has chosen to forget about such atrocities. So we’re going to try our best to protect the innocent public from the perfect storm of buttons, bizarre hues, and boller hats that are likely to emerge from the new mandate. Ladies and gentlemen, you have been warned.
Take a peek of what’s to come at CNNSI’s review of draft day fashions here.
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