QÜNE: The Report: Taking a T.O. Time Out

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We were ok with the controversy surrounding Terrell Owens at the beginning of last season. In fact, we weren't shocked by his hold out, the unkind words directed towards Donovan McNabb, or the fact that he completed an entire conditioning workout, topless, in front of a his suburban majority folk neighbors in Voorhees, New Jersey. T.O. is an athelete, so we don't expect him to be an expert on the intersection of race, class, and gender. But we do expect to see some evidence of intellectual and social growth from today's atheletes. Which is why T.O.’s latest antics have secured him a place at the top of our pisstivity list.

If you dare, venture over to his website- www.terrellowens.com. There, you’ll have the pleasure of being greeted by a rap song produced and performed by T.O himself. As if it wasn’t tacky enough that he decided to wear an all white suit to his Cowboys press conference, he now deems it necessary to produce a song pooh-poohing his former QB, the Eagles organization, and, indirectly, Philadelphia fans.

For the life of us, we can’t figure out why T.O. would choose to thumb his nose at his former teammates and coaches by creating a mockingly simple rap song. We’ve all been angry at a former employer for throwing up firewalls that don’t allow us to surf nefarious websites at work, or sending us to the conference in Hawaii with the office snitch. But it would never occur to us to create a rap song to exact our revenge. Not only do we understand and openly embrace our artistic limits, but we’re sure that any vengeful musical creation shared publicly would destroy our ability to be taken seriously in any professional setting- forever.

Before hearing his rap diatribe, we were optimistic that T.O.’s troubles in Philadelphia were more a function of his pride and social naiveté, than any kind of “keeping it real” ego trip that so many sports icons have embraced as of late. As such, we were sure that- this time around - he would learn from his previous media mistakes, recognizing how important it is to reflect before offering an opinion (or wearing a shirt with his momma’s face on it at a press conference).

Unfortunately, his rap diss shows that he's cold hearted, calculating, and as linguistically challenged as today's endless stream of artistic incapables that produce hallow hip hop songs with simplistic beats and elementary lyrics. That's three strikes if you're counting. Consequently, he’s now joined the ranks of the 10 or so other athletes that will be remembered for their off the field hip hop driven absurdity than their sports accomplishments (see the Miami Hurricanes’ 7^th Floor Crew and Cedric Ceballos for more evidence).

Surely, it didn’t take long for T.O. to produce his Laffy-Taffy like pro-Cowboys rap, but he had over three months to consider whether or not he should “keep it real” or let his actions speak for themselves through the remainder of his career.

Unfortunately, he chose the rap and we’ve chosen to never give him the benefit of the doubt again. Welcome to Qüne T.O..

Listen here.