At Least Cornrows Are Free

I was planning to write a quick reflection on the state of hip hop lyrics, but in the midst of my research I came across a website called Gold Teeth America. Googling has become a favorite past time of millions, simply because of the strange and often troubling sites that emerge from mundane queries. As it pertains to the collective state of Black America- Googling can be a shockingly brutal way of reminding us how much work is lef to be completed.

Which brings us to the topic of Goldteethamerica.com.  The site is billed as an online store where denture aficionados can purchase customized gold teeth showcasing diamonds, rubies names, and fangs. Replete with gold text and scrolling titles over a black background the site overwhelms your chintzy sensibilities like a ghetto hair show- sans the smell of burnt hair. Perhaps even more jolting however is the column of rotating customer pictures on the site’s front page. Every two seconds a new head shot is offered as example of another satisfied customer. Flashing their personalized “ice grillz”, picture after picture of folk with personalized gold dentures pop up, rotating in and out of your conscious until a pattern becomes clear. [deep breath] They’re- all black.

I could respond to goldteethamerica.com with praise. You know the mantra, “personalized gold dentures [and the like] are just another example of the collective creativity of black folk- wouldn’t the world be boring without us?” If you’re a liberal (as I am) you’ve used this kind of rationalization before. I’d truly like to believe that black folk have been bestowed certain gifts that allow us to express ourselves with more creativity and verve than others. Problem is I’ve fumbled through too many electric slides to believe that I have an untapped creative gene that lies dormant waiting to be unleashed at the next wedding celebration.  Yes, I’m the annoying black guy that you bump into during this cha-cha slide. And for this reason alone, I tend not to believe in this kind of mythology. While it is therapeutic to believe that African Americans have a monopoly on creativity and self-expression, such assertions only deny the obvious problems associated with the too often alienating choices of black young adults.

"Ice Grillz" and the emergence of the "gold front" industry (if I may call it such) reflect the expanding breach between main stream society and minority youth. To be sure, gold fangs do not attract fiscal, and/or educational opportunities. Sure you can take them out before an interview. But it is a safe bet that if you were wearing them at any point prior, you’re not going to be in the interview queue in the first place.

Thus, wasting thousands of dollars on an item that is going to make it even more difficult to access any services that rely on the subjective opinions of middle class Americans (white or black) makes little sense [unless you’re so rich that their opinions don’t matter- a luxury most Black Americans don’t enjoy]. "Gold grillz" are a bad investment (at least cornrows are free) and another example of our increasingly senseless celebration of alienating behavior.  Now central to hip hop culture, this sensibility is narrowing the life chances of urban youth and excerbating the institutional obstacles many already face.

So go ahead, call the emergence of "gold front" fashion an ode to our Egyptian ancestors. Call it resistance to the middle class hegemony. Call it a nihilistic epoch emerging from the sins of slavery. Call it whatever you want. But make sure that you also call it a likely precursor to unemployment and a sorrowing example of the widening gulf between black young adults and the American dream- however you may define it.

Make sure you visit goldteethamerica.com before your son or daughter does.

 

Comments

[Bougie Black Boy]

very nice site.

It's a ridiculous shame that we've resorted to who has the most bling-bling in their mouth, even though they still can't afford their cell phone bill. As I always say on my blog. This isn't a race issue. It's a social class issue.

[Anti-BET]

I visited the gold teeth america site and was shocked to see the number of male and FEMALE "satisified customers". There pictures flashing by, all appearing to be BLACK, with the exception of one (I counted) white hip-hop intoxicated "paul wall" type of guy. I continued to search the site. After clicking "custom jewelry", I was greeted by a picture of a black woman wearing an orange headwrap, with one hand on her hip and the other holding a half-bitten apple. She is smiling, showing us that her gold teeth did not fall out after biting into her apple. If you are not disgusted yet, there is a picture next to 2006's Aunt Jemima to do it for you. A "satisified customer" is posing showing his new necklace (with a large map of texas on it) with a man who appears to be of asian descent and of course IS THE OWNER of gold teeth america!!!!!!!! Still curious, I clicked the "fine jewelry" link, which feature normal jewelry. No "satisfied customers". Actually there is an illustration of a WHITE couple sitting at a table.

[Austin Lee]

Anti-bet, it gets worse? It looks like we just skimmed the surface of goldteethamerica.com. I thought blackpeopleloveus.com was thought-provoking, but (after taking your findings into consideration) goldteethamerica may have it beat as a representation of all that is bizarre, and troubling abt race, class, and capitalism in our country. Sounds like there's another chapter that needs to written. You game? ;-) Thanks for the comments!!!

BTW- 'Anti-BET' is a great pen name. LOL

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Someone who has huge front teeth that stick out in an unpleasant way. Usually kind of yellow and hang out over the bottom lip its a corn tooth.

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